I'M *NOT* STUPID LIKE CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE *SUPPOSED* TO BE DOING THEIR DAMN JOBS.

i just went to spanish class. i'd say it's going moderately ok. i would prefer my other spanish tutor but this lady does alright. my frustration may also spring from the fact that i'm no longer the only person in the class, today there were two other women. last time there was one of the women that were in class today and she had her daughter- who somewhat disturbed the class because she's got ms or something and she was squealing sometimes. i really am trying to understand the language but it seems like there's always some kind of distraction that i need to ignore. then when i returned from the class, an ics worker called me and asked me if there was anything they could help me with, then i said, "oh.. yeah.. i need to pack for my boston trip." and the travel pca sent me a list of things i should bring." then she said, "oh.. is your pca there?" and then i said, "no. he just left." then she said, "well he's supposed to help you with that." then i started getting irritated at the fact that people were trying to pass the buck on while treating me like i'm the idiot depending on them for help. so i raised my voice and said, "WELL.. THE ICS WORKER TOLD ME YESTERDAY THAT HE'D MAKE SURE TO PUT IT IN THE BOOKS TO HELP ME PACK BECAUSE I BROUGHT IT UP YESTERDAY AND WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO. HE SAID ICS WOULD MAKE SURE THEY HELPED ME TO PACK." then she said, "okay.. i'll put it in the book that your pca wouldn't help you do it and tell vicki.." then i screamed into the phone, "NO! THE ICS WORKER SAID THAT YOU GUYS WOULD HELP ME PACK! FUCK." the fucking idiots try to pass the buck on to the other person, taking advantage of my vulnerability and need for them to assist me by LYING about the other fucking person saying they wouldn't help when they said they'd help in the first damn place- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO PROVE. IT PISSES ME OFF- IF I COULD FUCKING DO IT MYSELF WITHOUT FORGETTING ANYTHING AND BEING ABLE TO REACH MY CLOTHES ON MY SHELF IN MY CLOSET- I WOULD. like they're trying to prove the other one is too incompetent to help me so they think they can get more hours from what my insurance pays them. MAYBE IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY FUCKING ASSISTED ME IN FINDING A PLACE IN BOSTON WHICH IS AFFORDABLE AND HABITABLE, I'D SPEAK UP AND GIVE MY DAMN OPINION. people are NOT gonna get more hours in care by annoying me. people act and treat me with ignorance to what I, the client, WANTS and NEEDS. GREAT MINNESOTAN HEALTH CARE! THEY WON'T BE SATISFIED UNTIL I'M PARAPLEGIC IN SOME NURSING HOME SO THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT, WHEN THEY WANT AND STILL GET PAID FOR IT AND IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE DOING THEIR DAMN JOBS BECAUSE I'M IN A DAMN WHEELCHAIR AND NO ONE LISTENS TO PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS! (i DO know from experience.. my grandma was the ONLY person to actually listen to me and she's dead now- so i'm sure assholes are trying to take advantage of that and amanda doesn't seem to give a damn because it doesn't affect HER directly) i'm just gonna have to see if those idiots will help me pack tomorrow and if they don't- my case manager told me to tell her. fredrick takes me EVERYWHERE i want to go- ics DOESN'T take me ANYWHERE EVER. he makes sure i get fed, he makes sure i'm showered and safe.. HE DOES EXACTLY WHAT HE'S PAID TO DO AND MORE. SO ICS CAN GO SOMEWHERE IF THEY THINK THEY'RE GONNA TAKE ANY MORE OF HIS FUCKING HOURS AWAY FROM HIM FOR ALL THE WORK THEY REFUSE TO DO. and emily (the previous supervisor) just jumped at the opportunity to accuse me and fredrick of having a "relationship".. as if that's why i stuck up for him. HE'S A NICE GUY BUT I COULD NEVER SEE MYSELF WITH HIM. STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME FROM ADDRESSING THE REAL ISSUE OF ATTEMPTING NOT TO HELP ME.